Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Wedding Day Wisdom

Our Wedding at Pioneer Village - Kern County Museum - Sept. 4, 2015

According to Buddhist wisdom, desire is the root of all suffering.  Does this mean that a bride-to-be should refrain from desiring the perfect wedding?  Not exactly, but the bridezilla phenomenon is an unnecessary and unflattering reaction that a woman should avoid on a day so sacred; otherwise, all that planning and all good intentions for a beautiful, happy occasion are lost. The key to the perfect wedding does not revolve around decor, food, or music.  It is simple:  the wisest bride will plan, prepare, and then she will relinquish control.  That is correct, on the day of the wedding, a well-grounded lady will become a willow in the breeze and completely surrender all notions of supervision.  Instead, she will be awake, present, and mindful of the love and energy that surrounds her; the details, at that point, will unfold and take care of themselves.

All weddings will have that moment where something strays from the plan.  I once attended a wedding where the ring was tied, in an impossible knot, to the fancy pillow.  The groom had to take out his pocket knife and cut it loose!  At another, the wedding march music malfunctioned and would not play after several attempts to fix it.  In turn, the guests began to hum the traditional wedding march so that the bride could finally make her way down the aisle.  At my own wedding (above), we had hired someone with a 1930's Model A to pick us up for our formal getaway at the end of the night, but it stalled out just before the time of departure.  To improvise, we made our memorable escape on the back of a golf cart that just so happened to be available!  The point is to believe that everything will unfold exactly as it should, with or without one's input or dominion. Have peace of mind and humor in heart on such an important day.

Yes, planning a wedding is a great deal of hard work, especially if, like us, a couple plans and organizes the entire event themselves; however, once the wedding day arrives, a bride must abandon her desires and expectations, relax, and truly enjoy the fruit of all that labor.  In the final days leading up to the wedding, she can meditate and remind herself of what is important - the commitment to her best friend and future spouse, the gathering of close friends and family (all of whom are sincere supporters and advocates of the relationship), and the ceremony of beginning a new chapter in life.

If a bride allows the mind to shift from one potential problem to the next or to obsess on the little things that may (and will) go wrong, she will lack present moment awareness, which is imperative to happiness. Hope for the perfect wedding, but have faith that it will be exactly that.  On the day of  the wedding,  a harmonious bride will turn to her partner, focus, and love.  Her special day is not the time to micromanage and fret, but a time to sincerely celebrate the joy that she has found in her husband.

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